According to Natalia Pérez Botero, a psychologist and professor at the Faculty of Psychology of the CES University, the relationships of couples in the pandemic faced a crisis, since it represented a state of disorders and disorganization in customs for which there was no preparation.
For couples and family relationships, the emergency brought by COVID-19 represents one of those critical periods due to the physical, economic and emotional uncertainty it generated. According to the psychologist, facing this change confronted the usual relationships with a challenge to preserve the usual stability.
“For some couples it was complex to start living together all the time with those realities of the other that they do not like and that were not seen at the time of being a boyfriend or falling in love: that it is very messy, that it takes a long time in the shower, that they do not comply disinfection protocols when you get home; a lot of everyday things that are becoming great and can deteriorate the bond that was had”, He explained.
To this are added points of imbalance such as couples who had school children and had to do educational accompaniment at home, telework, confinement and the impossibility of sharing other social spaces such as a restaurant.
For the teacher these situations “broke the balance between independence and connection”, Because individual and communication spaces were lost between the combination of work and home. This generated ruptures in relations, in some cases, or a strengthening of these as they created strategies to overcome the crisis that opened the confinement.
The psychologist highlighted that, based on her experience providing counseling for couples in this period, the best strategies emerged from the relationships that spoke about their problems, who sought professional advice to guide the crisis that was being experienced, who were able to establish daily protocols of respect of certain mutually agreed standards.
“Understanding is not something that happens just because, you have to talk, listen and put yourself in the other's shoes. Because even if we do not agree, what he is telling me is legitimate and in those spaces we can contain ourselves emotionally”, Expressed in one of her experiences one of the couples who consulted the psychologist and that she shared anonymously.
The psychologist highlighted some tools to solve these problems such as dialogue at the end of the day, creativity to find new spaces to communicate and protect sexual intimacy and establish certain protocols or routines that prevent daily situations such as hand washing, caring for children or coexistence in telework, determine the stability of the relationship.